Pursuing Sexual Health and Wholeness
in Our Community

SURVIVING SEXUAL ABUSE ...

Sexual abuse is one of the worst kinds of crimes. If a thief broke into your home and stole some of your possessions, you would immediately report it to the police. But what if someone was able to break into your life and steal your feelings of self worth, shatter your heart into a million pieces, cripple your ability to trust others, and beat you down until you were bruised with fear? What if you were a child and that "someone" was a family member? Someone that you believed that you could trust? Sexual abuse may be the one secret that holds its victims in the tightest chains of all. Confusion, shame, and fear create a dungeon from which there seems to be no escape. We are here to provide a door of hope; a way out of the darkness.

Realities and Myths
Healing and Recovery
Don't Go It Alone

REALITIES AND MYTHS

Sexual abuse involves any contact (not just genital) or interaction in which a vulnerable person - infant through post-pubescent - is used for the sexual stimulation or gratification of another person. The offenders may include men, women, parents, siblings, friends, neighbors, teachers, counselors, pastors, babysitters, complete strangers and anyone in a position of authority or influence over their victim. The abuse includes touching, rubbing, or patting meant to arouse sexual pleasure in the offender, and may also involve visual, verbal or psychological interaction with no physical contact.

Sexual abuse can occur in any family - regardless of race, religion, age, and physical characteristics or socioeconomic status. Abuse occurs in rich families and poor families. Sadly, statistics show that 75 percent of the incidents of sexual abuse occur in "religious" homes.

Sometimes survivors think that what happened to them isn't bad enough to qualify as abuse. They say things like, "It wasn't incest - he was just a friend of the family," or "It only happened once," or "It was just my brother and he was only a year older than me." But your pain counts.

The fact that someone else has suffered from abuse that seems worse than yours does not diminish your suffering. Your pain and suffering exists regardless of how many other people in the room have gone through the exact same experience. The important thing in defining abuse is not the physical act that took place. It's how you felt as a child. An abuser used power to manipulate and control you. Your trust was shattered and the world stopped being safe. You felt terrified, hurt, ashamed, or confused. The pain is real, but so is the healing and recovery.

HEALING AND RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE

If you were abused as a child, you are probably still dealing with the effects in your life today. You may be having trouble in school, on your job, with relationships and sex, or in your family. You may feel bad about yourself or think something is wrong with you. These problems, and many others, can be directly linked to the abuse you experienced while you were growing up.

The important thing for you to know is that it is possible to heal from sexual abuse. You don't have to live with the effects of abuse for the rest of your life. If you are willing to face the trauma, correctly establish responsibility, trace your behavioral difficulties, and find good support, you will not only heal, but thrive.

DON'T GO IT ALONE

You can't heal from child sexual abuse alone. You need to break the silence that has surrounded the abuse and reach out for support. At least one person needs to know about your pain and your healing. That person can be a friend, counselor, spouse, fellow survivor, or family member. Hopefully, you will have many people who support you. But start with one. Find someone you trust and talk about it.

When you first tell someone that you were sexually abused, you may feel both terrified and relieved. Then you may wonder if you've done the right thing. It's scary and the results are uncertain, but it's important to talk about the abuse. "You shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32)

When you first begin to talk about your abuse, start with people who are likely to respond well. Begin with the person you trust the most. That might be a counselor, pastor, friend, or spouse.

When deciding whom to share your secret with, ask yourself the following:

Does this person love and respect me?
Have we been able to talk about personal things before?
Does this person care about how I feel?
Do I trust this person?
Do I feel safe with this person?

If you can say yes to these questions, you're choosing someone who's likely to support you. When you tell someone and they listen with respect and caring, your life will change dramatically. You're taking a step in the right direction. Toward healing.

Click here for: Counseling Referrals

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord;
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

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