| Former stripper moves out of darkness, into
light
By: Pat Center, AFA Journal Staff Writer
"It certainly didn't turn out to be the glitzy, glamorous
world I had imagined it would be," said Kimberly Drake
as she reflected on her life as a dancer at the Déjà
vu strip club in Spokane, Washington. "Instead, I soon
realized how dark and dirty and degrading it really was. And
I desperately wanted out."
That was three years ago. Today, Drake is founding president
and executive director of Spokane's Citizens for Community
Values. CCV's purpose is to work with concerned citizens and
community leaders in reducing sexual exploitation and violence
in the Spokane area. Drake says her heart is also very much
in helping the dancers who are displaced as a result of night
club closures or legislative restrictions prompted by the
work of CCV and other organizations.
So how did this young woman, who had been addicted to pornography,
alcohol and drugs, become transformed into a dynamo who works
ceaselessly in her community to create public awareness of
pornography and the destruction it can cause?
Drake answers that question with a Scripture: "I (Jesus)
have come as a light to shine in a dark world so that all
who put their trust in Me will no longer walk in darkness"
(John 12:46).
"God met me there in the darkness, and He did not condemn
me; He loved me right where I was," shared Drake. "It
was as though He removed scales from my eyes so I could take
a long, hard look at my life. And I didn't like what I saw."
Looking back, Drake says her childhood was fairly normal,
except she missed seeing her dad who was a workaholic and
always gone. A major turning point in her life came when she
was 14 years old. She was raped by an older boy. She told
no one and carried the emotional pain of this trauma into
her adult life.
"I was never free from the shame and humiliation of
being raped, and I began drinking heavily at 15 to numb the
pain," Drake remarked. Sadly, her life continued its
downward spiral when, at 16, she had her first abortion, and
at 18, started smoking pot. Two years later, she got married
and soon after tried her first line of cocaine.
"After about six months of marriage," said Drake,
"my husband and I started using pornography as a stimulus
in the bedroom. One thing led to another, and we became entrenched
in a lifestyle of pornography, drugs, and alcohol addiction
that lasted more than 13 years."
Although in the beginning Drake and her husband were successful
in business, the addictions began to take their toll, resulting
in lost jobs and ruined credit. It was at that very low point
in her life when someone mentioned to Drake that she was pretty
enough to be a dancer in a night club. Her husband was in
favor of the idea, and she began job-hunting.
When Drake interviewed at Deja'Vu, the managers told her
how beautiful and glamorous and sexy she was. "That was
exactly what I needed to hear," she explained, "because
I never felt like I measured up to the sexy girls my husband
saw in the porn magazines and videos. I hoped he would think
I was as sexy as they were if he realized other men lusted
after me."
Soon she was dancing as a "show girl." But it wasn't
long until the glitter and excitement began to wear off, and
she realized that Deja'Vu was nothing more than a dark pit
of prostitution and addiction.
"To cope with the shame I felt, I turned more and more
to cocaine," commented Drake. "I would have to get
stoned in order to get naked on stage. It was a sad and degrading
life, and I began to hate it. But God knew where I was all
the time, and He never let me go."
Indeed, God was working in her life in a powerful way. On
Easter Sunday, 1997, Drake's mother, who had recently rededicated
her own life to Christ, invited the entire family to church.
They went, and miraculously, three weeks later, Drake, her
husband and their oldest son all accepted Christ as their
personal Savior.
Drake continued her job at Deja'Vu but quickly became convicted
of the need to change her life in drastic ways. After one
month as a Christian, Drake's husband came to her and said,
"Kimberly, you need to close down the Deja'Vu."
Her immediate reaction was, "I don't think so. I'm resting
on my salvation, thank you very much."
But she did quit her job, and as a result of God's presence
in her life, began to feel a deep need to do something about
closing down the strip clubs and hard core pornography businesses
in her community.
She began to pray and research extensively and discovered
several organizations across the nation that are working to
stamp out pornography while also providing counseling and
assistance for pornography victims. She met Gene McConnell,
former vice president of victim assistance for the National
Coalition for Protection of Children and Families. Drake says
McConnell is the person responsible for providing her with
the foundation she needed to begin the healing process in
her own life.
"God is a relational God, and when we are sinned against
relationally, He uses reparative relationships to heal us,"
Drake continued. "He has given me several wonderful mentors
who have accepted me and loved me and understood my pain.
People like Phil Burress, director of Citizens for Community
Values in Ohio, himself a former porn addict. And Phil's wife,
Vickie, AFA state director in Indiana. Vickie also has a ministry
called "Victims of Pornography." Amy Dupree, who
ministers to strippers who want out of the lifestyle in Dallas,
is a friend who is familiar with my struggles as well."
These people's influence, coupled with her own calling to
give hope to people suffering from sexual addictions, resulted
in Drake founding Spokane's Citizens for Community Values
in March of 1999. Since that time, the Spokane CCV has been
successful in helping to get ordinances passed that resulted
in pertinent restrictions on sexually-oriented businesses;
a strip club has closed down; a Pornography Awareness Week
has been instituted; and a conference held to educate pastors,
counselors and lay ministers about the problems surrounding
porn addiction and sexual brokenness. Currently, Drake and
her volunteers are involved in a campaign to encourage AT&T
to stop cablecasting a hard-core pornographic program called
Hot Network.
When asked what help she could offer to people who feel totally
trapped and unable to overcome an addiction, Drake had this
advice:
Fact the fact you have a problem.
Trace its source through counseling or contact with an organization
that specializes in healing your particular type of addiction.
Erase the lies Satan has planted in your life by allowing
God to replace them with His Truth and unconditional love.
Drake mentioned a quote by Pastor Bill Hybels that sums up
her feelings: "You will never lock eyes with a stranger
that doesn't matter to God."
"And that includes the stripper, the prostitute, the
men and women who are caught up in the addiction of sex and
pornography," concluded Drake. "Every single one
of them matters to God."
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