Pursuing Sexual Health and Wholeness
in Our Community

SEXUAL ABUSE: ANYONE YOU KNOW?

You may be surprised to discover that you know someone who's been harmed by sexual abuse.

Consider these facts:
One in seven boys and one in three girls have been sexually molested by the age of 18.
There are over 1.3 million children a year being sexually abused.
Most cases of incest involve females under age 11.
Up to 85 percent of criminally or sexually exploited children were missing when exploited.

HOW TO RESPOND

Sexual abuse can affect people throughout their lives. Living with a survivor is a challenge for friends and family members. The pain is real, but so is healing and recovery.

How people respond to an abuse victim is vital to recovery. The most important response you can offer is belief. When you believe them, you become a part of the healing process. Disbelief can have a more damaging effect than the actual abuse itself. Establish respect, and commend and support the person for coming forward. It's vitally important not to brush them aside or diminish the realities of their experience. Do not indicate that they should have done something differently. Never blame the person in any way. Most children blame themselves for being sexually abused. Many adult survivors continue to blame themselves. But sexual abuse is never the fault of the child. Never.

Things to remember:
Encourage the person to talk.
Offer love, respect, and support.
Stress that it is not the person's fault.
Assist your friend in finding a professional counselor.

Jan Frank, a highly respected speaker, counselor, and author recognized nationwide for her expertise on sexual abuse, says it's critical that neither the victim nor others, however well-meaning, say: "It happened a long time ago and shouldn't matter now," or "Just get over it and get on with your life." Family-related abuse is rarely an isolated, one-time incident; it affects the whole nuclear or extended family system.

You may even hear well-meaning pastors and experts offer their roadmap to healing with admonitions telling you to bury that pain and get over it. "Darling, you can be healed today if you will only believe and obey God". When someone who has been sexually abused hears this statement, they oftentimes turn the blame on themselves. They believe that the pain and effect of the abuse is no longer the fault of their abuser, but their own, because they have not "believed and obeyed" well enough.

Pain that is buried or not sufficiently addressed or worked through seriously hinders our ability to live in the freedom and grace that the Lord has to offer. The truth is often painful, but it is not until we make the decision to seek, confront, and experience the truth that the process of rebuilding our lives will begin.

REPORTING ABUSE IS VITAL AND MAY BE REQUIRED

Although anyone who is aware of sexual abuse should report it, certain professionals are required to report injury, neglect or abuse (involving a minor) that they become aware of during their normal working procedures. These include doctors, dentists, nurses and other such health care professionals; licensed psychologists; coroners; administrators of hospitals or child day-care centers; schoolteachers and principals; police officers; and film developers.

If you act and are right, you are rescuing a person. If you don't act and are right, you leave the person in a situation that may continue and be progressive. Most abuse can be reported anonymously.

TO REPORT known or suspected child abuse call:
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, 800/843-5678
National Child Abuse Hotline, 800/422-4453
Your local law enforcement or children's protective agency.

continue...